How to be more at peace with yourself


Claire Dunworth-Warby, a Personal, Business and Education Coach, poses three questions to check on how happy you are with yourself and how to increase your happiness levels.

Are you putting life on hold until you meet the right person/ lose those extra pounds/ get the dream job?
If so, then think again – life is too short to postpone until everything is perfect. Life is rarely perfect, so it isn’t a good enough reason to procrastinate. Ask yourself: What’s the very worst that could happen? (it’s rarely anything that bad) and then, bearing this in mind and allowing for it if necessary – go for it!

Not only will you feel energised by actually taking control of some aspect of your life, but your self-esteem and confidence levels will automatically improve too. You will feel more powerful and no longer be in limbo, waiting for your life to start at some point in the future.

Do you think that you will only be happy when you have found your soulmate/dropped a few pounds/got that job?
If so, then think again – you are looking for happiness from external sources and making your happiness reliant on circumstances, which are often beyond your control, or on other people – not all of whom have your best interests at heart. This is not a good strategy to adopt in the pursuit of your own contentment.

Think about what is good about you. List your strengths and your resources and keep this where you can see it for regular updating and to remind yourself of all your good points. Reflect on what makes you happy in your life now – it will heighten your awareness that you have it within yourself to be happy and it will make you appreciate the good things that you have in your life already.

Are you listening to that nagging little negative voice in the back of your mind that can undermine your happiness?
If so, then think again! It is believed that up to 80% of our thoughts are negative and it is easy to fall into the habit of repeating them so often to ourselves that we believe them and accept them as the absolute truth about ourselves. Change the negative power of this little voice into a more positive one by rephrasing these thoughts. ‘I am useless at this’ (which sets you up for failure from the off) could become ‘I’ll try my best’ or ‘X is brilliant at this – I’ll go and ask for some advice so that I can get better at it’.

Try some of these techniques and enjoy a happier you!

Claire Dunworth-Warby of Aspire Associates Coaching is a Personal, Business and Education Coach working with individuals and organisations one-to-one, over the phone or online, and leading workshops across the UK. Training the trainers is also available.

For more information or a free taster session contact her on 01746 218298 or visit:


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